The higher power hierarchy. I acknowledge the existence of higher powers. I know for a fact that I have many. It seems there is also a temporal nature to the wielding of power. Truly higher powers maintain their power over greater and greater lengths of time. I feel whenever I’ve been of extraordinarily high power I’ve quickly lost it.
As to the writers, I think I must constantly intend to write my own story. The trouble is, I’m not always sure who I am. Maybe I am in the intention and the consequences past and present. Beyond this it is hard to describe. Maybe that’s why I let myself be written about — in the sense that I have found my thoughts are often not my own. “About” may not be the right word, perhaps “on.” My mind is a canvas and a blank page at times. It gets written on and then sometimes I interject. That’s who I am sometimes. The interceding force of intention beyond a will identified as other than myself.
I must trust higher powers because acceptance is the only way with God(s). This trust is not blind. The trust comes through a battle of reason. This is the masculine way. The true way to higher levels of consciousness... at least from a man’s perspective. Whether there is some no man’s land from which female minds descend I do not know. I have heard this may be the case, but for me, if I hear a female voice within I am hesitant to simply trust. Though in some sense via testimony and phenomenology there is reason to believe female minds are superior.
The desire for a relationship is often guided by comfort-seeking or pleasure-seeking, but marital relationships are not always ideal for those types of satisfaction. Comfort is founded on individual health and wellness. To the extent social-emotional comfort is required or desired it can be found in friendships, fraternal or paternal relationships. All myriad of platonic relationships provide plenty of social-emotional comfort.
As to pleasure, there are so many ways to find pleasure outside of romance and sex. It is a very pleasurable thing but it is a fairly small part of a “marital” relationship — especially a committed one that lasts decades. The pleasure of romance can be matched by flings or fleeting experience with courtesans and prostitutes. The problem is not with romance, it is romance elevated beyond love. Love may be considered desire when it is unaligned and when it is aligned it can be aligned in almost every way.
The desire for… anything! It can be satisfied in a loving relationship, or rather relationships. I’m not sure one loving partner is enough for everyone. This is why love isn’t defined simply by romance — there is agape, friendship, motherly and paternalistic love. I think one sexual partner is generally a good idea if it involves reproduction and the raising of children. However, marriage is a different construct entirely.
I think marriage is a very important relationship to preserve and is the highest form of a loving relationship. Ideally, a wife and husband would be married for life if they have children. I think the best situation for the children is that the parents would be exclusive for life. There shouldn’t be serial monogamy if the two partners are aligned in the right way. It is a giant responsibility to get this right.
The best form of a loving relationship isn’t just about romance but about learning and teaching what it means to be “me.” The married couple should constantly learn about each other. If the story is completely read through then I suppose move on, but it seems time and change make this an impossibility. People do change, thankfully. It takes years most of the time… decades definitely… change comes inevitably.
As to serial monogamy, the volatility required is too big a burden on the older children if it is to be harmonious. Without the cooperation of the older children this can lead to much chaos. I think there is evidence of this. It seems obvious that children raised in households where marriage is exclusive and for life (or at least until all children are well into adulthood) generally are much more stable and successful.
The half-sibling thing puts a lot of burden on the older children. The older children must align and treat the new children as full siblings and ignore the complexities of step-parents' involvement. This disposition requires overt cooperation and control of the competitive instinct. The older siblings need to grow into adoptive “uncles and aunties” or “first cousins” of the younger in some sense — depending on how stark the age gap. The older siblings become altruistic teachers. This is the only way for there to be peace. Any other way would be extremely dramatic and chaotic. Fun for the rest of us to watch, I suppose, but not fun for the family.
Sincerely,
Buckley Mower
February 23rd 2025